April fools prank: replace all of the sugar in your house with cocaine
cute things to call your girlfriend:
6. 1 tbs of butter
7. stir thoroughly
8. pour into baking pan
9. we forgot to preheat the oven to 375
why would we have to preheat her if she’s already hot
you smooth fucker
Most days I just feel like bashing my face into a wall until fragments of my broken skull lodge themselves into my brain and kill me.
Is that weird?
My feels exactly right now.